The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling.....

So i got my first girlfriend at daycamp. Camp Robin Hood. There was this girl, she was kinda geeky and like me, so we had eachothers back while both in S3 cabins. I was in Senior Boys 3, and she was in Senior Girs 3. SB3 and SG3. Nothing military about that or nuthin....Nothing smoothed over the Uncle Hulka vernacular like having a smoochy poochie name for each of the various sections.

Tents were lined up in 2 rows of 4 and thus formed a "section". Brambleberry, or The Clouds. Had they been named after what each tent and section was famous for, i would have been in Senior-waspinfested-tentstillsmellslikepukefromthesleepover-shithovel.Always ate outside under a tree. Never in the tent.

...i digress...back to Haila. Nice jewish girls even then. She lived outside my allowed bike travel zone, and was nug enough to risk life and limb driving into Scarborough. I swear i knew all about that shit even back then.

so we lived in that hazy region called "phone relationship". We finished camp, and went out separate ways. Often promising to meet at Don Mills. The "frontier". Never happened. I'd be surprised if it ever did in these fast and hard times for a 9 year old. There was school, sports, masturbating, and masturbating...oh and walking the dog.

I'd come home and call. We'd talk for 20 min, doing a recap, and usually spending 1/2 of the time yelling at my sibs. Fricken crackers. Then i'd watch MASH, maybe Barney Miller, and then homework. then dinner, and back on the phone after DrWho. Say 7ish.

Day in and day out for like 45 days. Then, id be hooking up with some tart in grade 4, who said "you have a hardon.." to me, and without knowing what the hell she was talking about, had to have her for my own.

but in the meatime, i had her convinced that when i get home from school, me and my band rehearse in my dads musicstudio/basement. I'd say..."wanna listen" and she'd say "sure" and i'd put on Meatloaf's Bat Out of Hell! On a bad tape deck that i'm pretty sure someone stole from the local highschool, but had never confirmed. Really hilarious. Then i'd get back on the phone, act like i was out of breath, and say "so what did you think...?". And she would say she liked it, and we were really good, and should keep at it cause we were really good.

Shortly thereafter i figgured out that stupid and gullable are kinda similar, and went on my way.

Outties.